You had a bad day.
Trust me I understand.
Trust me anyone who is reading this will understand.
Everything about this is so human.
Is it the type of bad day where you want to end it all or the type of bad day where you just want tomorrow to come? Is this more about Heaven or the Sun? Is everything grey or is everything black. Is Ohio for lovers or do you just need to wake up when your version of September ends? Either way I understand I’ve walked the line of this spectrum many of times. You feel like it’s all falling apart but everyone knows you as the person that keeps it together. Life is a puzzle but you’re expected to be the glue. That doesn’t make sense, but YOU know exactly what I mean.
This is all a tightrope.
Angels on high. Demons below. You in the middle trying to find balance and the voices in your head are the closest thing you ever had to a life coach.
This is a tightrope.
You want to say the right thing but everything that comes out your mouth lately seems to be a typo.
This is a tightrope.
And you don’t know what’s your biggest fear falling off and dying. Or jumping off and flying. Ahead or behind. Above or below. See you were molded by that darkness. But amazing grace comes with that light. See you always feel alone in those shadows but the pressure grows every time you accomplish something and reach new heights.
You graduate school: You need a job
Every time you eat: You remember how it felt to starve
You hold them tight: You hope they knows how much this means
You say goodbye: Hoping this isn’t the last time
You survive them shots: You load your gun
You had a good day: when is the bad one coming
You take a risk: What if I fail
You win once: I’m not allowed to lose
You be yourself: The world hates it
You’re filled with doubt: they don’t reassure
You ask that question: You get that answer
You look in the mirror: it’s a bad reflection
You send that text: They don’t reply
You mess up: they forget all the good you’ve done
This time I bent: What if next time I break
This time I failed: what if next time I succeed
You share your talent: Will they call it art
You give the extra effort: They don’t notice
You grow: They say you change
You want to say everything you feel: but how do you express so much when we no longer communicate.
You want to be patient: You’re not sure you have enough time
You want to give your all: But you don’t want to look dumb
You tell the truth: they wanted lies
You tell lies: you lose their trust
Everything is going good: You overthink
You say I love you: Now you hope they don’t leave
That list goes on…fill the blanks in your mind with whatever you need.
I just wrote this to let you know I’m here. You’re not the only one with doubts behind a smile. Worries behind a laugh. I wrote this just to let you know fear is okay, but I admire your bravery. You made it this far. So take another step with me. Walk this line. You can look up and ahead or you can look down and below. Whenever you don’t have complete belief in yourself or the circumstances just say “This is a tightrope”
Take this time to reassure yourself it will all be fine. It may not seem like it but there is a safety net. Live in this moment. Doesn’t matter if you have to tip toe or run across. After you read this, smile. Not because I just told you to but because you just thought of something to genuinely smile about. The ability to reach new heights are in you. I know every accomplishment comes with a new fear. Every risk comes with the possibility of a new rejection.
Life is all about the view. I see everything you are and everything you want to be. It’s all so beautiful. Remember to keep your balance. This is a tightrope.