Maybe…

I hate the word maybe.

Seriously.

I feel the same about possibly.

I want confidence when we speak. Talk to you like my confidante. Whisper secrets in your ear about my dreams as you sleep. I don’t want you to ever doubt. I also don’t want you to ever think I’m perfect. I’m a man of many mistakes. I just want you to say I’m worth it. I knew I loved you when everything about you I didn’t like I wouldn’t dare change. Fascinated with the beauty of your unique imperfection. When it comes to the future the only thing I get from you is

possibly,

maybe.

We use the word “maybe” to protect ourselves. To avoid those conversations that bring the issue to the front door if we gave a real answer. Communication is knocking. Will you answer? Give me a yes or no then elaborate how you really feel. I know you have river thoughts of me that can flow into oceans of us. Hills of honesty that grow into mountains of trust. Seeds turn to trees. But I don’t want your tears to be the water that shows our grass is green. Fuck the other side. Fuck that other guy. Fuck anything in this world that is not about you and I.

We. So. Alive.

It doesn’t have to be do or die.

I fucking love you deep. I dare you to come close and look me in my eye. I got a million ideas to show you that this is real. I’m thinking of a million ways to ask you how you feel.

But… I don’t want a maybe… I don’t want a possibly…

I’m trying to write you like science.

I’m trying to read you like math.

I know it’s complicated.

Give me the curves of your mind and the wisdom of your hips.

I know it’s complicated.

Give me more than a maybe, tell me we can make it. If I swim an ocean to build you a ship, would you sail back with me? It may be sink or swim but the view will be amazing.

Maybe.

Possibly.

I love you.

Definitely.

Maybe I think you make me better. Maybe I’m who I want you to call on those sleepless nights. Maybe I truly believe it when you cry to me with tears in your eyes and I tell you everything will be alright. Cause everything will be alright. Possibly that’s cause with you everything just feels so right. Maybe I thought about our future and it’s everything I could imagine. Maybe I’m a savage for your heart cause you bring out my passion. Maybe past time with you is my favorite distraction. Maybe love is a verb and when it comes to you I’m about the action.

Maybe I just want to lay under stars while you tell me who you are.

But I also understand why you give me possibly. Why you protect yourself with maybes…

Maybe the soil of our love is now too muddy and our flowers can’t grow here.

Maybe my walls are too high and you prefer low roads instead of climbs.

Maybe you let go of everything that I was holding onto.

Maybe we just don’t love the same.

Or maybe I’m insane for everytime I say I love you.

Maybe I’m crazy for you.

Maybe I want all this to be unconditional.

Maybe everytime I reached, you pulled away.

Maybe love isn’t enough.

I can’t bring myself to ever believe that, but maybe it’s true.

Maybe we’re from a generation that settles for the word maybe too much. Maybe you still see the boy I once was. Possibly your perspective can’t change to the man I now am.

But there’s so much possibility. There’s so much left unsaid with a “maybe”. Maybe I should remember you say Maybe because your heart says yes but your mind says no. You don’t know which one is right anymore.

So maybe you’ll give me chance to show you all summer that you matter and multiply that into a lifetime. Maybe your answer will be no, but just know it’s very possible that I’ll find you in another lifetime.

Possibly.

Maybe.

I love you.

Definitely.

Tell me how you feel.

Be my answer.

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