Slowly Drifting

Slowly Drifting.

Love usually comes in all the wrong places. Soulmates don’t come with a bow on them wrapped nicely underneath life’s Christmas tree.

Timing is not the planets aligned just right to let you know this is the one, you’ve found them. All those fish they tell you are out there, forget about them. This is your fish, swim no more Dori!

If I want it, if it’s something/someone vital to me and “timing” isn’t right, I ignore clocks.

All this life shit isn’t like the movies. Even though we all play roles. Still find hope in someone that couldn’t be scripted. Find passion that can’t be acted and wouldn’t go away if someone said cut.

Saying I love you and meaning it is the most honest thing a human can do.

Saying I need you to someone else is the most vulnerable a person could ever be.

Hmm- But not saying these things back also takes courage. Knowing that this is what this person wants to hear and you can’t give it to them. That this is not where your heart is anymore. But courage and running are not the same. Don’t deny yourself. Don’t think it has to be one way. There is no certainty. Hard to quantify all of this.

There is so much power in belief. I am always trying to figure out when to hold on or let go. It’s not till you see the aftermath that you know if you made the right choice. You either build or destroy.

All I ask is please don’t judge me by the far reaching shadows of my mistakes.

How do you know that it’s light if you’ve never seen the dark? How do you know there’s light inside of you if you’ve never been dark.

I just needed room to grow. The more my spirit elevates the fresher the air gets around here.

Always caring, but never the most trusting person. Tall man, I keep everything that breathes at arms length. All these treasures in my mind but when it came to you maybe I opened up the vault too late. The circumstances of your life is people always leave so as a preemptive strike you’ve always been the one not to stay. And it’s not like you run. It’s more a fear that you might drown so instead you just drift away.

I remember everything but you on the other hand cant let go of pain. If you really break that down you’ll see it’s not the same.

I remember everything.

But you can’t let go of pain.

I don’t understand it all. I don’t need to. That’s not my purpose in life. I’ve been wrong. I’ve been right. And that will always repeat. That’s my history. All I seek in life is the unconditional. I never want to tame anybody. Minds are meant to be wild. Imagination should be free. Find someone to cherish like they were planted for you in the garden of Eden and charge everyone else an admission fee. Swim together in this ocean.

Hmm- Definetly going to write a post on Dori soon and all she can represent. That would be fun
Create it all and fear none of it. Or fear it all and create none of it. Timid is not a word for those who are destined to be happy. And I really hope to find my destiny. I hope you find your destiny too. Prosper.

But seriously though I’m not perfect. Fucking it up then getting it right is a daily occurrence for me. I learn and grow  a lot this way. Maybe for you people never really do grow or change. Maybe when it comes to some people you’re not supposed to get it right. I hope that’s not true but, I don’t know I’m just a kid who spent part of his childhood being raised in Philly and misses cheesesteaks 

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