Be More Than Somebody They Use To Know.
It’s astonishing to me in modern times we have more ways to talk and be in contact with each other than ever in the history of mankind but we communicate less than ever. I’ve never been able to stand in a room with someone I once said I loved and just act like they don’t exist. I’ve witnessed this first hand a few times this past weekend. It just bothered me because I know that is not what is in their heart. I force myself to get past the ego of it all, and say hello at least(Sometimes it means restraint from saying things like “and fuck you forever can’t believe I made you that mix CD in middle school” or “ I love you and I wish that was enough for you. Let’s go somewhere, anywhere and never leave my side again”). It is complicated, we can all admit that. I know it’s hard but it’s the simple things that can be our biggest hardships. Let them know you appreciate they’re doing alright, because you never know what can happen and you won’t be able to say it. Always thought life was too short for anything besides honesty. I know I am an outsider when it comes to this concept. Still someone who I went on an intimate journey with I rather reminisce on the path we took than watch bridges burn from afar. That smoke will kill you and ruin your new view. People leave so much room for hate, you start to think there was never anything else there.
The person you told all your naked secrets shouldn’t be treated like a stranger once you put your clothes back on.
But I know everyone handles things differently. Texts go unanswered and experiences become distant memories. Those 4 A.M. nights when you stayed up listening to the Beatles drunk under the stars talking about everything become lyrics of summers past. All these ways to communicate yet sometimes words tend to escape us. We think about a person all day, but are unable to send one sentence their way. We don’t want to blurt out all these things that could let people in. So all these rules are formed that we make norms to protect our pride. I’ve been guilty of it too all these wicked games we play when the situation is between two.
We don’t want to get lost in the moment. Even though the moment is sometimes the most important thing we have. So often we don’t realize greatness until it past. We don’t see purity until after we tainted it. All these shooting stars and it’s not until we are looking up at a sky of nothingness that we wish we had made a wish. The human condition is so much but we express so little. Even sitting here writing this I’m wondering who will see this and who how will they react. When I should be thinking who needs to see this and how can I articulate it better.
Concerned with all the wrong things.
Contemplating if I’m investing my energy in all the wrong people.
We’ve all been here in some form or fashion. The dreaded in between stage of life lessons. All these voices that are temporary are often the ones giving you advice on the things that are real and forever. And it constantly feels like you are mixing oil with water when all you want is something pure. All I want forever is to look in the eyes of someone I love on a Saturday afternoon, drink a few shots of tequila and figure it all out. But that’s not how this works. This is a generation that doesn’t hit send. We delete pictures of those that made us happy in order to hopefully forget that there were ever genuine feelings there. We get upset when we are reminded that someone once had the power to make us truly happy and also make us so angry that our blood boils.
I want to remember it all.
My mind is a library and I never want you to be a blank space.
I never want to be numb to it all.
I’m not perfect so even in my words sometimes I faultier when trying to speak to stars. I grew tired of complications that occurred because I would whisper I love you’s to the ones who had my heart. So now I yell it whenever I get the chance. Say “I miss you” whenever you want to. Say “I need you” whenever you have to. Let those syllables fall and lay where they may, then sleep in that bed until you need rest no more. Not saying this has always worked in my favor, trying to be transparent as possible. Everything works out better in your head. Communication is really something you need a partner in. You have to listen more than you speak and they have to want to hear you. Sometimes you hit send into the universe but life doesn’t hit reply. But there is no moving on if you don’t take a step. There is no fighting for or losing them if you never set foot inside the arena. Every yes or no is a new way to define your world. It is all a journey. If you want to go fast, go alone. If you want to go far, go together. The universe is nothing but time and space don’t force anything just give people the universe. Time and Space.
But what do I know? Maybe for you it’s too late for words. Maybe for you it needs to be cold and numb. I don’t know, I’m just in a kid in Reno right now craving Chipotle.