We manipulate these words that are communicated to us into what we want or need them to be. That’s why our mind hears one thing and our heart feels another.
We are torn.
We are indecisive.
Because to get what we want out of this we must first attract what we need.
Don’t wish upon stars if you fear the night sky.
For the view you must realize beloved that you need someone that wants to build with you from the foundation. Not simply someone visiting and to only sightsee.
Your body, mind, spirit, soul, energy is not a place for tourist.
She wants to love you but she doesn’t know if she is capable of that anymore.
Love in general.
Love in phases.
Love in the human condition.
It’s a maze of a concept.
It’s something she doesn’t want to give up on but trying again just to fail seems like torture.
Asking her to believe in something greater than herself. Something so pure that involves somebody else.
You could probably be her soulmate. Depends on your definition. There’s so many things that could’ve changed. But giving you a chance could lead her to everything she’s afraid…
Of letting you in to her sacred place. Especially cause the first time you had your baggage but wasn’t ready for the voyage. And now you’re giving all this effort to set sail. But giving you a second chance could lead her to everything she’s afraid…
She’s afraid that it could happen all at once.
You know life is too good, it’s moving too fast.
Life is going too slow, except when it’s time to crash.
She doesn’t know if she is ready and it’s unfair to ask you to wait. She doesn’t even know how she would ask you. So instead she thinks it best to just let you fade.
She thinks it best if she doesn’t say your name but she thinks of it a few times a day.
You’re just a name that lives in her social media search bar.
She wants to know what goes through your mind every so often.
She wants to feel you on occasion.
She wants you to let it go, because she isn’t sure how to yet.
You’re just a possibility to which she won’t let herself know the outcome.
For anything to be authentic it takes work.
None of this is real if you don’t want it to be.
Stop looking for solutions in people who don’t even ask how your day was?
How was your day?
She is always at war with herself about battles that she puts off for another time. She’s dealing with the consequences of hating her own reflection. Trying to cope in a better way.
She’ll reply “It was alright, work sucked.”
She’ll say that for eternity because she wants someone to open up to but you don’t deserve to see her vulnerable. You haven’t earned the right to hold her emotions or her for that matter. So she’ll keep you at distance. You learn to appreciate her from afar.
How does she deal with being afraid of all those memories that came from the dark, but the sunshine only seems to shed light on her flaws?
There’s no where to hide…
The shadows know her secrets and those long drives with the music loud know the lyrics to all her pain.
Shes the DJ and they want to dance with the lady but she hasn’t been taking request lately.
You keep your tools ready. You’re here to build a view not sightsee. Hopefully she can tell the difference.
You wanting to be in her life made her be honest with herself.
Who does she hold onto? What does she decide to let go of? This time it’s most important she doesn’t lose herself.
What does she want to keep as an idea?
What does she want to make a reality?
The idea is beautiful.
The idea is easy to maintain
The idea is simple and sweet
The reality is complex
The reality can cause pain and trauma
The reality is more than a day dream after a hot shower her laying around in just a towel imagining what could be.
Reality is often everything that we fear because it has consequences.
When the subject matter of the story is the heart. The plot twist always comes with heightened risk.
The idea is beautiful. So why should she change it?
Who is going to show her reality is worth it?