This is inspired by talks at the bar with Alanna. Hopes that Banks never has financial hardship and everyone I care about doesn’t have to be the lead singer in order to find Nirvana. This is inspired with hopes of being able to afford my mother going to therapy. Inspired by visions of you in a two piece on Europeon vacations with me. Convince you to take that long flight cause fuck anxiety. If I go 3 for 4 it’s a win to me.
In my head there’s a melody…
I want all my friends to find their truth.
I want passion to fill their voids.
When I look you in your eyes I need to see something special.
I’ve seen a lot of hard and become numb to it.
I want to stay inspired by everything that I feel.
Sometimes I think I feel too much. Sometimes this vessel seems empty as if I’m not feeling enough.
The architecture around here can be complicated.
What does inner peace mean to you?
I don’t want to ever not appreciate the simple things. I don’t ever want to look at the sunset and call it normal.
I’m hostile for the prosper. Threatening you all with greatness.
I don’t want to let eachother down. We shouldn’t be in this same spot next year.
I need to worry about new things.
I need this thing of ours to be more than talks we had in bars while we were faded.
And if you ain’t with me now I’ll add you to the list of people that are going to fade.
I never feel bad for demanding loyalty. If I would die for you all I ask is be righteous when you around me.
You ever just sit around and think about all the secrets we keep?
All those things that will never see the light of day because of the darkness of night.
I want to be by your side but our ambition needs to be the same height
I’m not into burning bridges. I rather use that wood to build ships.
This is a metaphor.
You been waiting on the wing playing this card a long time.
Shoot that shot.
I understand man; I can’t even lie.
I’d probably blame you more if you ain’t even try.
When the other team seems vulnerable that basket looks wide.
I guess nobody ever told you the story of the father warning his son about flying too close to the sun trying to chase that shine.
Then I realized there really is no need to tell you this story. Because you don’t really fly you just jump real high.
But everyone will see how quick you come back down.
Your wings aren’t natural it’s not in your nature to be in the sky.
Still I don’t blame you for day dreaming.
To me this is a journey for a purpose. It has a destination. To you it is just a hike.
That’s just a dramatic way to say it means more to me and I’m not going anywhere.
I have a habit of being there for people.
I’m trying to be ahead of my time. I’m out running a dark place. Spotless Eternal Sunshine couldn’t erase my mind.
All of this was just the first half of the year my third quarter run is about to put me in a Golden State.
I have this thing in life where I always feel like I’m running late. Feel like I’m behind where I want to be, where I should’ve been.
I got all these plans in my mind.
I got all these second chances that I want to make feel like the first time that’ll never achieve.
Mona Lisa I miss how you smiled for me.
I wish I was around more when you say my name.
I only want you for one more night but only if one more night can last forever. I really believed in us so I’m going to use that line in a poem later.
I got all these plans in my mind
All these hypothetical futures I’ve created in my brain. The human experience is truly Strange.
I don’t have all the answers. Sometimes that really bothers me. I take naps like it will solve all my problems, but I still wake up with these flaws. I’m just going to keep working on them in my dreams and find someone who doesn’t mind waking up next to me.
That’s just a metaphor.
SHOUTOUT TO THE WOMAN I WANTED TO BE WITH THAT CALLED ME ON MY BULLSHIT I HAD TO FALL BACK FOR FOUR MONTHS AND BE BETTER
Also shoutout to whatever queen I end up with because in every aspect it takes to be a man I am better and you’ll help me keep growing.
That’s not your responsibility but you make me want to be better and I appreciate that.
The river keeps flowing.
Life is nothing but a concept. A series of events that shape your mindset.
This happened to you; so you see the world this way.
This happened to me; so I see the world this way.
Life is all about the view; so we should see the world our way.
But we don’t even talk or listen anymore; so the vision is blurry.
This ain’t positive shit that you see from these Instagram memes and corny videos from Prince EA about inspiration I need you all to understand. I can’t fake it. That’s not how I survived the east side. Guns loaded in my face I still never lied. I didn’t know how I would get here I was in the car that was equipped with 25 to life. I was just hoping I see 25 and thinking this can’t be life. My reality was intent to sell. I only want my circle and Friends Of The Blog to win. If you don’t rock with me, you can die. And if you don’t agree with that logic fuck you and you can die again.
Those favors never have the same energy when you ask for them back. You give your arms and legs only to get met with a closed palm when you need a helping hand.
Once I get the formula you’ll never have to calculate on your own. But I’ll connect the dots then divide it all by half if I’m in a room with you and I feel alone.
I think I’m allowed to be who I want to be that’s entirely fair. I don’t care if you judge me by my angels or my demons we all in here
Clearly I got something that’s appealing. Cards stacked against me I was Dealing with the Devil having the upper hand. Let me tell you my external existence. I don’t know what I believe in but I’m grateful my NaNa prays for me. And I just hope my NaNa keep on praying for me. Don’t know if there is really a heaven but I experienced hell. All success really is, is doing it enough times that you know how not to fail.
Why do you doubt yourself?
No really why do you doubts things about yourself?
Is it because of fear or failure?
They’ll never remember you if you doubt yourself. Still some days you’re not sure if you want to be remembered at all.
There’s so much about you that is water.
This is a metaphor.