Do you think life nurtures the caterpillar to become a butterfly or is it just their nature? Is it just by happenchance they got wings or could all of this be something more? I hope I live long enough to truly experience something more.
I hope for a lot of things.
The audacity of me to believe in myself.
In the land of the free if you look like me they call you weak if you ask for help.
I’m secure in all aspects of my masculinity so help me be free.
Breaking the walls of all these stigmas so everything can be seen.
Nobody plays operation and does surgery with words like me.
The meditation in my soliloquy.
Stretches these metaphors like yoga and green tea.
All the human race is a temple and Ramadan starts in two days.
That’s enough of the beauty; darkness is what you came to see.
They playing truth or dare when it comes to loyalty. So now my mind quicker and my skin thicker.
My mom use to be in a biker gang so don’t ever ask me if I’m down to ride.
She almost went to jail for shooting a man they tried to call it homicide.
I was a teen in the back of that cop car them high beams looked like Vegas lights.
I was just a peasant in Ohio with Kings mindset who knew I come to Reno and treat the streets like Vegas kNights.
You always know where I stand.
You never have to force me to pick sides.
I be walking home through downtown late night after spending money on drinks looking at the homeless sleeping on the sidewalk and hope that’s never me.
Well hoping that’s never me again…
Hello paranoia my old friend.
One of these days I got to tell my comrades the truth about where I really been.
See when I yelled gang just know that it was real.
The City love when I do that drug talk for real. When one pocket is heavy that’s the plug walk for real.
When I start writing this is how I really feel.
Trying to describe what’s going on in my mind and like being surrounded by a black hole but still singing this little light of mine. On the East side they only love you when you the plug. Who going to help me get rid of this pain more you or the drugs?
Please tell me that it’s you.
Life Is All About The View
Taking it all real slow.
We all dying anyways what the fuck am I in a rush for?
And everything that I find out is killing me just makes me want to be in love more.
Everything will be mine in due time
You’ll be mine when the time is right
And if you are never mine then it’s never mind and fuck time.
I never been in my right mind. The people that really love me just learned to deal with it.
If you been with me from the start you are use to this. If you new here then here goes some honesty.
I smile with confidence but I still have my insecurities.
I try to stay well aware of them but sometimes they creep up on me.
I hope you appreciate that the voices in my head said perfection is boring
More truth: it’s not hard to admit because I don’t care what you think of me.
I’ve been poor but I’ve never said poor me.
No fear of the dark it’s always light that scares me the most. Only because what if I don’t shine enough for those around me? What if you in a dark spot and I can’t be the light you need?
Those favors always come and I never run. Cause if I say no, I know friends that will turn to a gun.
And I know what happens in the warm months when the ones with guns thinking bout Christmas gifts for kids. I know in Winter it’s a different kind of sin.
Babygirl you the devil. Doors open, please come in.
I write like this because I know what happens to dreams deferred.
To me you look like a million dollars I hope you know your worth.
Recession is coming again I hope the Renaissance comes first
Don’t worry I checked my balance. I’m going to love you enough for the both of us like my heart and affection comes with a weekly allowance.
I’m just hoping text get replied while on my refrigerator I just put up another wedding announcement.
Damn that’s heavy.
I like being alone; I just love you being around more
My friends move like demons in these streets but when it comes to my sanity they like angels all around me.
Once I get my mom a house then I want forever for things to be like this.
Cause it was hard to focus on Homework when at that time just being home was work. Tired of apartment living. We trying to make a home out of the work.
When you got gloomy paths tell me what these street lights mean to you?
How can I ever doubt myself?
When I was born with nothing but this heart and this skin. I survived and fought for everything else.
I celebrate the ones around me like tomorrow we have to wake up and get it all back if we wake up with nothing else.
You don’t wanna know what I would do if I had to go get it all back.
We been treating tequila like it’s corona and corona like it’s water.
I can feel that drip like agua
I got a lot to give but the difference with me is I’ll give till I have nothing left.
Use substances to forget who I lost but never who I loved.
To really know me is to want to support me. To hate me means you don’t look in the mirror enough.
My reflection is shattered glass from a broken past.
But I never cut myself because I knew that I was born to last.
Everyone I gained in this life I got by being myself.
Everyone I lost in my life I lost by being myself.
If I want you back in my life it’s because now I’m a better version of myself.
If you sleep on me now be well rested, cause it’s turning Freddy Kruger scary when I can hire some help.
Tell me your nightmares.
I just want to hear your voice.
We don’t have to compare fears.
But we can that’s your choice.
We take all these uppers and all these downers then we blame it all on emotions.
I’m saying “When” from the top of my lungs, I mean I’m saying “Win” until my vocal cords are giving out.
I’m saying “When” again…
I can’t lose you now…
I can’t lose focus ever…
When I die just know the casket dropping is just another cocoon.
Now let’s see who really read this shit. Quote this piece on Twitter with your favorite line and on Wednesday I’m picking one person to win $50.
If you real I’ll see you next Sunday.
I’m grateful to anyone who believes in me.