“WHY do you only listen to sad music?” She asked if she really cared about me. It was that perfect time of day. The time of day when you didn’t know if the Sun was setting or rising.
I told her “ I’m trying to catch a vibe. For now on I only crave what I can maintain.”
“What does that even mean?” She asked with a voice as soft as I would imagine clouds would feel. She floated as she spoke to me.
In the back of my mind somewhere where the most pure form of love resides I know she meant it as a way to understand, but because of the type of life I lived before her I took it as confrontational.
You had to have had numerous sleepless nights to understand what I’m going through.
Lack of emotions will have you thinking everything is a threat. I know where the exits are even when I’m in a safe space.
“Well I didn’t want to lie…Would you prefer it had I simply said some days I want to die?” I answered with a bass in my voice as if I’m taller than I really am, and I happen to already be really tall as constructed.
The architecture of my life is complicated. Now I’m pass the physical and discussing the mental.
She want to break me down. She want to get to know me.
“ I wish you knew all the ways that I love you” she smiled with her vocabulary as if she understood how the word infinite works.
The synonyms of always and forever come in forms of affection and love
Just incase I need to go. How do I leave this place?
I know where the exits are even when I’m in a safe space.
I like everything about you that is soft pink
That’s where all the life happens.
That’s where I feel free to tell you everything I need. Which happens to be everything you want to hear.
Where everything is soft pink.
I’m her weighted blanket she just doesn’t realize the weight is all my burdens.
I love you so much but not enough that I can lose who I am in order to make you complete.
If someone is not ready for love it doesn’t matter how much you love them.
Sometimes mazes are disguised as puzzles.
Sometimes we find new purpose through our struggles.
I’ve never finish puzzles. I leave pieces of them empty like love letters I never wrote.
All things I would have said if I was sincerely yours and after a P.S.
Meet me half way in this soulmate shit.
Rendezvous of the heart or we’ll end up in different locations.
I like to be alone but I don’t lust for distance.
I put too much faith in the miles I’ve walked by myself.
As if traveling fast could replace going somewhere with purpose.
It’s not fair because I’ll resent you. Not for what you are but for what you wouldn’t let me be.
We still chasing the high of a soft pink Spring.
Do you understand?
Do you comprehend?
Or do I need to go deeper down the rabbit hole that we call forever.
We’ll go deeper because they say carrots help your vision and I want to see the possibility of us clearer than ever.
I got so lost in the thought of you and had to find myself in reality.
You don’t have to let me go but you do have to let me be free.
It all feels so bright but I love it most when we are shades of soft pink.
Tender touches of magenta. Our souls in this infinite universe are magnetic. You taste magnificent. You move so majestic.
What would it take take for your love to change?
If I destroyed a piece of you?
If I destroyed peace for you?
If your heart was a compass what would it take for the direction to change?
These are the thoughts of questions I often ask my self. I guess it could be some form of healthy self care to ask them of someone else.
You smoking lavender and rose petals building you up this how architects think. Put your lips on me as if you don’t care if I breathe. Let me drown in the version of you that currently faces me. I want to be surrounded by all forms of soft pink
I lived long enough, allow your essence to suffocate me.
You taste magnificent. You move so majestic.
There’s certain parts of you that make me feel too alive. The rush of a soft blush.
But I don’t wanna die when you are close.
I don’t want to be in the verbs of your suicide notes.
“This is salmon” says the man who afraid to properly appreciate soft pink
When your intentions are pure the negative opinions will never outweigh the positive facts.
Shades of red that become dull not because they faded but because they were appreciated like fine art.
You know I’m lowkey, I like to keep everything undercover. You just want to make sure I don’t only love you when we are under covers.
Your mood swings I know that’s from trauma of the past that has yet to pass. I think nothing of them.
I think of you in the highest regard as if your weed is flowers somehow planted from above.
Rose pedals fell from the sky when you arrived.
I’m so glad you came.
You only cry tears when it rains to use the nature of it all as a mask to hide the pain.
I’ll take care of you under the moon when there’s absence of light.
This all is a metaphor for so many things that fulfill us or trouble us in this life.
I love everything soft pink about you.
Visuals by: Mia