Beautiful Chaos

Heart to hearts in the bathroom and we ain’t even talking about us.

I’m holding the door shut I hear the music faintly in the background.

I love this song…

I notice all of you, but that’s not what’s important right now.

Haven’t wrote about you in awhile. I think I miss it.

Sum of all our fears is such a dreadful equation. It seems as if no one wants to figure anything out because they are scared to death of the answer.

It’s not our past that we need to change. We had to learn these things. We had to go through that pain.

It’s the future part of your tarnished soul where you have to be okay enough to let someone in.

Everything is falling apart.

You’re so beautiful in this moment of chaos.

You’re so beautiful in this moment of chaos I’d watch it fall apart over and over again.

You’re so beautiful in this moment of chaos that you bring a subtle peace to everything being in disarray.

We’re so afraid of things falling apart.

So afraid of things falling apart that we won’t let them go.

We have such fear that we let these things that were once precious crumble in our hands because we know once one thing ends it means everything could change.

That’s not why I hold onto the thought of you. But those are thoughts we can partake in another day.

Right now we are watching chaos bloom

Valuable lessons come with heartbreak.

Regrets come with decisions.

I’m looking at you as I think these lovely and dark things, but I’m not talking about us.

I’m not writing about you, even though I miss it. We are just here avoiding conversations in order to have other conversations.

We are something separate from this moment. Either a story that is already written or not yet finished.

We are own special brand of chaos. I see chaos as art.

Sometimes art doesn’t need to be understood.

All everyone in this situation is trying to do is explain.

Everything has to end.

So does that make everything temporary?

I tend to hold on to people who I see pieces of forever in.

Now I’m looking at you, but I’m still thinking about her. That’s an everyday occurrence that’s just how mesmerization goes.

She’s so broken right now but she has to fix her self. This isn’t the space to do it in.

Now I’m talking to you and asking everyone to listen.

When’s the last time you changed your mind?

I think you do it often out of fear.

I think love is pulling you in different directions and you don’t want lust to be the final destination.

You’re scared of taking a path already traveled


I wonder who you trust…

This is just the journey so far this place doesn’t have to be your spirits home.

You’re finding temporary feelings in other people’s eyes.

You don’t even have belief in your own vision.

You don’t want to let go but you know how it should be.

You’re trying to avoid chaos.

You’re trying to avoid crashing into your emotions while moving at high speeds.

This bump won’t help, but take it anyways.

Temporary solution to long term problems. We all try to solve things without putting the work in.

It’s true they do make castles out of sand but those never last.

So how you decide to build your kingdom is important.

You’re just trying to stay above water, but that’s the quickest way to drown.

You have to swim.

Now I’m talking everyone who knows you learn more when you listen.

You have to trust yourself that you can love yourself.

If you only establish fault you never seek solutions.

Sometimes blame takes away from the faith.

We exited the bathroom without proper goodbyes, but we left the hearts there.

I hate when we don’t say goodbye.

Let me know you got home safe.

It’s all just life in the end.

All the holding on.

All the letting go.

All the fear.

All the bravery.

And everything that comes as a result of all this beautiful chaos.

It’s life.

Now everybody shut up.

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