I have to hold myself and those around me accountable. It is who I am as a person and it is my duty as a man.
The sensitivity of the male ego will always be astounding. This is not me saying I am immune to it because that I am not. My pride has blocked many road that would’ve led to beautiful destinations. I am always striving to improve; so I can admit that. I’ll always walk this earth humble in whatever I achieve but knowing my worth whenever terms of what I bring to the table are drawn up. The ego like anything isn’t entirely bad. It is needed at certain points to accomplish specific task.
But the ego can be toxic. If not checked it will flow to your heart like there is poison in your veins.
The ego is an act of violence in a man who is not secure in his masculinity. It is toxic in a way that can not be overcome to someone that does not know who they are.
I know who I am.
I am just still working on the final product.
When I say masculinity I want to be clear in regards of how I define it. Masculinity is not being a straight male who is dominant, strong, deep voiced and is always right. Masculinity comes in many different forms and needs to work on a spectrum that is not absolute. It is all inclusive and fluid.
If you are not flexible in how you experience this life you are doomed to become stagnant in what you can ultimately achieve. Every king knew multiple ways to lead. Every empire conquered from different directions.
There are some places as a man your anger, frustration or whatever emotion you are feeling should never take you.
I can be viewed as a dominating figure. The majority would say I have type A tendencies and an alpha personality.
In the whole flawed concept of proving your worth as a man it is not only what you do, but the places you won’t go. We should not only judge a person by what they achieve but also their self imposed limits.
Is your soul intact?
As a man I can tell you I have never hit a woman and I always ask for consent.
No matter the circumstances, those two things are always constant.
I am not perfect. I would never hope to be perfect. That word is retained as a description for those who believe in things much bigger than I will ever be.
I would never want to be perfect cause I like discovering things about myself and then working on them if I don’t like them. Or cherishing them if I do. Sometimes I work on those things too late but I am always a continuous project.
The only thing I will ever get on my high horse about is hitting women and asking for consent. If you are man and lack in those areas I’m better than you. I say that with supreme confidence.
When I was young, too young to know anything of how the world operates I viewed violence in the home. During the most impressionable years of my life I experienced abuse firsthand. What would be deemed father figures more so acted as bad influences. I was too small of a human to really do anything besides watch it happen or hide when instructed. Luckily my mother had insurmountable strength or I wouldn’t have a life. I say this because an “excuse” for a lot of open abusers is the environment they came from. I won’t go into detail right now but for personal reasons your surroundings is not a valid excuse for these actions. I’ve never hit a woman and I always ask for consent. There’s no excuse for a man to lack in those areas.
I’ve have had heating arguments with past lovers and strangers of the opposite sex. Passionate screams to prove our points and let one another know we care. But nothing that blurred the line between love and physical abuse. I have apologized for being wrong and not communicating properly. I have shut up even when I was right cause the win wasn’t worth losing the person. Never would I let it reach the point that I would hit the beautiful art that has been the women in my life.
There’s only one area where I take control. Where the way I move my hands might leave a mark that will show the next day. And I get consent. I make sure we both want this to happen before we go beyond anything that will have either of us waking up confused or with regrets. I want to make sure the person I am with is enjoying this and that I have a clear conscious. When I touch the body of another I want moments that create memories in their soul. There is nothing boring or off putting about getting permission to touch your partners body. If that kills the mood between you two. Then trust me on this; you are not doing it right.
The way you ask that question should enhance everything that is about to occur.
A woman who trust you will do anything you ask. If she believes in you there will be no hesitation. She will do things to you and for you that no one outside that space would ever think she was capable of. That trust must be established first. She needs to know her shortness of breath comes from the hands of someone who will be tender with her when she needs it. That you will take your time as your hand draws outlines down her spine. That as you are pressed against her it feels like you belong. Like she is going to remember that no one else has ever touched her like that. It was special in a way that they only wrote about in poetry.
I love poetry.
Leave your mark on her body.
Leave your mark on her heart.
Leave your mark on her mind.
Leave your mark on her soul.
Leave your mark places on her that she never thought would be touched intimately
Listen to what she desires as if her voice can solve all your burdens.
She will gladly tell you she wants everything you have to offer if you just ask.
The way she answers will be so beautiful. She should not be scared of you inflicting pain. She should embrace you. She should know with you she is safer than she has ever been. If she is sure of that, she will give up control in that area. If you provide the moment, she will get truly madly deeply lost in it. She is a beautiful savage. Inhibitions are for those she doesn’t feel entirely comfortable with. Fear will never be as strong as passion.
Passion isn’t something you seek it is something you find.
Those who know what I mean, there is no further explanation needed.
But I love going deeper…
You never own her. You are never entitled to anything see posses. Hold her tightly, but let her be free whenever she wishes.
Have an appetite for her desires so much that its a feast whenever she decides to really believe in herself. Starve her doubts to the point that they never will be satisfied again.
Be what she wanted in such a way that she never knew it was all she needed.
A woman’s biggest predator is the male species and yet they still love us.
They still praise us.
They still appreciate us.
They still allow themselves to teach us love.
They still enhance every factor in our life.
There’s so much about their essence we don’t deserve.
I am not perfect. I never want to be. I’ll never claim to be.
I have never hit a woman and I always ask for consent.
Trust is important and the answer is beautiful.