Triggered

I would do this even if I was talking to myself into the infinite universe and it seemed vast darkness was all there would ever be. I got you by my side and thats beautiful. You bring light.

Words are like shooting stars they help me wish for better things.

There’s a certain peace that comes when you are lost. There’s that brief moment that is a mixture of hope you will find your way and solemness that maybe you will aimlessly wander forever.

I’ve fallen in love with solitude a few times in my short life.

There was a good three year period where a few of my close friends either committed suicide, was murdered or going to jail. So what was I supposed to think the options were for me? It seemed my outcome was predetermined. Death felt like destiny. Nana saying talk to god, I didn’t have it in my heart to tell her police questioning me. They want to know what the boy with the hazel eyes has seen. They don’t know I was a look out for the other side. My pockets felt heavier then cause of the way I carried the weight. Them bullets came I went low. That’s how you stay alive. They tried to jump me little did they know I was looking for a fight. Wish they brought more cause I was looking to have a long night.

It turned out to be an early evening.

My boy _______ came and swooped me after he said I was crazy. Little did he know the pressure that was mounting in my brain. I would go to different colored blocks just so they would ask my name. They called me J-Bird, the YoungLion would come after.

My mom was sick so my whole mental was ill.

Caring too much for the wrong people has always been my Achilles heel. It’s always the ones who don’t know your pain that want to tell you how to feel.

I want to write more love letters you know genuine things that are signed and sealed.

Instead we just send text. Instead we just leave things on read and don’t comprehend.

I was looking for you in all the wrong places.

I’m talking about death.

What will they remember me for?

I’m talking about life.

All I would’ve left then was a list of regrets. When you getting fast money you don’t leave a will. Had two versions of a dad. One was in jail and one wasn’t around. So I never had a father. Learning life lessons from Uncle Phil. I’m glad most of the people I cherish now didn’t didn’t know me then.

If you knew me then. I hope that you cherish me now.

They sent me to Vegas for a year.

I had to cool off.

Came back to the Eastside and jumped right back into the top 10 like I was Mr. 106 and Park.

One day I hope to sit on Park benches and tell stories of when I was young and beautifully tormented. Tell you all the ways I almost died just so I could live this life.

They pulled triggers…

Then they put your name on a shirt

They pull triggers...

Kill them two at a time like funeral homes make coffins designed like bunkbeds

They pull triggers…

How am I supposed to tell your mom not to cry

They pulled triggers…

Revenge is the motive. We show love differently around here

They pulled triggers…

It was like nighttime lullaby’s

They pulled triggers….

Like it was a kiss on the forehead

Meet me on the park bench

Tell me your triggers

Sometimes peace is disguised as chaos.

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