Inspired by conversation at Chili’s 9.10.15
We have let go of thank you’s. They have been taken over by the same disease that made lovers in the notebook forget they were both birds. We have embraced goodbyes and mastered it like an art form that has sculpted both our mental and physical decrees.
Due to a perception of reality beyond mostly our control. We all have this skewed view of what love and what being happily in love means. There’s memes, gifs and photos with filters that instill in us this idea that if you’re not constantly happy then clearly it is not meant to be. As if romance is one big Brita filter and we have to leave all the hard dark and twisty things behind. In my most semi humble opinion communication is the most important part of any relationship. Communication is the most vital part to any interaction it is math, science and language.
We are so hungry for this new idea of love that we become absent minded and fail to realize there is no feast without substance. The good and the bad is all apart of a balanced diet. You must both have an appetite for destruction and crave peace. Just because your spirit is free does not mean your emotions have to move like a gypsy.
And this is not about the sanctity of marriage, gender roles or anything else that was created and is now embedded in our society. I want to strive for something with somebody. To me the term hopeless romantic is shifting into hoping against hope to find someone that can see beyond the allure of everything around us that is falsified. I want our love to be as pure as the laughter of our future kids. I want to give my all to someone that knows when I look at them I see more than movie scripts, articles with top ten list that change every week of what an ideal partner should be, someone just like me or completely opposite, neither matters. To work together. To build an empire in this reality we have to live in but always remember none of this materialistic shit is real.
Someone that gets to know me well enough that me genuinely asking “how was your day?” is just ones of the many ways I will say I love you.
Someone who when I hold the door for them and grab their waste knows it means ” I really don’t want to be without you”.
When I say I’m not perfect it’s not something I throw out into the world so strangers can feel closer.
I recite these words like an exodus to my own scripture so those who really exist in my universe know I lack wings and sometimes miss the beauty around me but their energy lets my spirit fly. This is simple as leaves growing from the blood of kings. Gifted with a pen to compose negro spirituals but never learned to scream. I want to love for eternity.
To know I would find you in any lifetime will be my greatest peace of mind.
No matter the times good or bad only thing we are sure of is by the end of it we will be closer. We move different from them not to simply go against the tide but because we are on a different wavelength. Our shores create oceans not borders that will confide us. You never leave my side. Still on every journey you are the light house that can reach across the universe and let me know it’ll be alright. If it seems I’m asking a lot just know all of this is vice versa. This is beyond the definition of mutual. A beautiful view is my only purpose. Expect nothing less of me. I’ve never been one to settle or share rooms with those I feel the need to lie to. So ask me again how I feel and I’ll write novels that will rival ancient libraries that were destroyed by foreign conquers. If what I want doesn’t exist, I’ve learned I can create anything. I’m not perfect but “How was your day?”. I just need to remember the Thank you’s.