A Fighting Chance

A Fighters Chance.

I’m not perfect. Rarely do I ever get anything right the first time. It’s not a flaw, it’s a tool. It’s the most human thing about me. It’s a way to let me know what or who I really want and need in this life I’m striving for. I tend to right my wrongs and realize my mistakes. I overthink everything. When I fuck up, it gives me a chance for self reflection. Anyone who knows me will tell you I’m a very logical person. I’m always thinking how to move in a room full of vultures. But when I’m passionate about something and think it’s real I go after it with all my energy. To me things that are real and passion are the only things that last forever. It’s a balancing act I am always tight roping. Trust me a lot of the shit we worry or obsess about on the daily is not real.

Yes the fact I usually need another shot at things has taught me what I really want. After you fall running in a certain direction while you’re on the ground you make a decision. You either get up and keep running in that direction because the fall was worth it or you pick a new course. Every scar has a story and every view starts with a journey. There is a drastic downside to being imperfect and needing more than one and sometimes multiple go around at things. 

Windows close and doors shut.
The world doesn’t wait. Just because you are genuinely ready and realize you want something after faltering does not mean it will be there. No matter how hard you work or run towards it another time. Jobs fill positions, someone better comes along, former lovers move on, people become memories, moments in time become ghost of past lives, life happens. The universe is not always forgiving. And as much as that hurts and trust me like a ton of bricks crushing your heart and soul it will hurt. You have to realize we own nothing in this life. There’s no copyright on the mind, body, spirit and soul. You get this energy, you use this energy, and then the energy moves on. Still when it works out its a beautiful thing. When you realize you want something more than you ever wanted something and you get a chance to get it right. Whatever your IT may be. It is like the stars aligned just to give you the worlds best view and you never want to ruin it again.
That’s why it is important I surround myself with fighters. Individuals who will fight for me, who will fight for what they want, and people who I find it worth fighting for.
People who may not understand the way my mind works but knows my heart is pure and in the right place. Those who tell me to slow down when they know what’s best for me. But when they look in my eyes and see that passion. See that it’s real, will tell me to go till the wheels fall off and once that happens continue by running and if it’s real honestly real, crawl if need be.
But am I worth fighting for?
Everyone is a fighter. That’s the key, finding people and things worth fighting for. It’s all different. That’s also the struggle, we’re all in different battles. Even if you want someone by your side they could form an alliance with someone else. They could see the road ahead different from you. That’s why it is truly magical when something works out. Think of all the infinite scenarios possible. No one has to give you a chance, no one has to forgive you, no one has to love you, no one has to fight for you, no one has to look in your eyes and see that passion. We don’t always get what we want, we don’t even always get what we need. You will fall, you may falter. You may not get that second chance, but fight. Fight for what you are passionate about, and fight for those worth fighting for. Hopefully someone thinks you’re worth fighting for too. What’s worth the battle scars? What fits your definition of real?

 Remember as imperfect as you are, the rest of the world is imperfect too. Find beauty in that. Don’t just take chances, give them.

But aye maybe you do get it all right in life maybe you have never failed. Idk I don’t have all the answers I’m just a kid from the 614 that likes fruit snacks and Caprisuns. 

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