And I wish we were kids, because it all be easier to understand. And I wish that we were kids. It be easier to tell you I want you forever. Because to children that’s just a really long time, they don’t understand forever.

 You’re not the girl you were last year and that’s okay. I don’t even know who I was yesterday. That’s enough about the old us, because all we are doing is getting older. I keep reliving old nightmares of my past dreams. I should probably write all this down and figure out what it all means.

But we all grown up. We moved on and moved out. Signs of maturity we put down the toys and started playing with hearts. I hate reality, because in my imagination we are not this far apart.

With you by my side I’m not afraid of old age. I wish we were kids. Because kids are brutally honest and I want to tell you everything. It was so simple when we played house back then. We told future stories of how you would always be my best friend.

It all doesn’t seem that long go…

No more building forts or sleepovers. As you get older you get less chances for a do over. Laying down with thoughts of how its you I will never be over. I’m over all the normalcy and how hiding my emotions is seen as signs of maturity. I want you by my side watching Saturday morning cartoons knowing it can’t always be this way in the back of my mind is thoughts of our impending doom.

Holding you is my recess. Your voice is the reason for the beat on the left side of my chest. If my next meal was a birthday cake I would wish I could protect your innocence. Nothing is important if we view everything as relevant. I wish we were kids when you didn’t need a reason to smile. You were just happy for the Hell of it. These are just the memoirs from the love letters back in middle school that I never sent. If I got caught I’d surely read them out loud to you.

You like me?

Check yes or no and later on we can figure out everything. We dress up everyday to be what we think society want us to be. Children only wear mask for Halloween. They believe Santa really put the gifts underneath the Christmas tree. I just want to go back far enough to when you still believed in me. But I always seem to forget the coordinates to the time machine. 

I always forgot the coordinates to the time machine.

You’re apart of the light I wanted to touch. I envisioned myself with a queen like you since Mufasa died in Lion King. When all my worries were about simpler things. Disney movies always taught me girls like you end up with boys like me, but they never taught me what happens when men like me fuck it up with women like you.

Disney movies always taught me girls like you end up with boys like me, but they never taught me what happens when men like me fuck it up with women like you.

All of this is so new…

Street lights came on. If we were kids I’d know you be home by curfew.

But now life is testing my proficiency to see how proficient I can really be.

Do I miss the idea of you or the concept of us?

Am I hungry for companionship or starving for your touch?

I never been good at playing in the field and you giving me the cold shoulder like we playing freeze tag

I miss the days of “You hang up first” as we fell asleep on the telephone.

I hate texting you.

I love talking to you.

Hope you can see the difference. There is a thin line between us living and just existing.

If we’re not hearing each others voice there is so much not achieved in the conversation. Speaking the same language but so much is lost in translation. We both so difficult and wondering how could this be so complicated? Next thing I know you need your space and I’m just left in orbit sending all my thoughts to space. I’m trying to find you so I can give you this effort. This the longest game of hide and seek. I believe in crosses every time we get to speak.

I wish I could say I like you…

I wish I knew the right way to love you…

I wish you could see how much I really care for you…

That’s all three of my wishes and I didn’t even have a genie in the bottle. Who do you go to for advice when they start looking at you as the role model.

That’s why I wish we were kids the concept is beautiful. I want you forever. To kids that’s just a very long time. They don’t understand forever.

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