“We know what we are but not what we may be” That’s the first tattoo I ever got. It is pemantly inked on my left side because that’s my dominant hand. And every year when another 365 days pass the mantra becomes more true, more relevant. Thinking back on this last year so many things have changed. I’ve grown as a human and in my opinion as a man. I lost people that I thought would be apart of my forever and I’ve gained individuals who are now firmly cemented in my view like statues that are art in life’s garden. I’ve fallen in love and been confused by the results. I’ve apologized and I’ve forgiven. During the time I was 25. I went sky diving, to numerous cities, Coachella, Burning Man, worked 3 jobs, did school full time and loved it all. I accomplished things that I never thought possible. It was truly the year of adventure. I experienced mental lows that had me questioning everything I thought was important. One thing remained constant throughout all of it. Like wedding vows for better or for worse I was truly myself.
I will admit I’m nervous.
During 26 a lot of things will change because they have to change. I can’t control this. I won’t fight it because I know that’s apart of the journey. I’m currently on the road less traveled taking steps with a blind eye. I will embrace if. The recent future is a leap of faith and I just hope those who give me wings will jump with me. To all those who take the time and read this just know I thank you immensely.
I write stories and you read it.
I tell the truth and manipulate words like my thoughts can build sand castles. And you all take the time to visit the beach that is my mind.
I don’t care if a million people read or just one. That will never stop being amazing to me. I live my life and all of you are apart of it. I don’t take that for granted. We are creating something.
To the women I’ve loved, to the friends I have and to the family I care for. You are my hope. You push me to be my best and care for me if you think I’m at my worst. You are building steps that lead to my accomplishments and you don’t leave me because of my flaws.
There use to be a time when I thought I wouldn’t make it to 18. Everything around me now I couldn’t imagine back when…back when life was more complicated and those who I was surrounded by had alternative motives in my life. Now my dreams are so big it’s scary that I honestly think I can accomplish them.
I don’t know what I deserve, that’s not for me to decide.
But one one my main resolutions this year was to make it through this year keeping certain people still close to me. I wrote down these names. I hope all those people are reading this. Good or bad I don’t think any of this is by accident. Love, friendship, loyalty, admiration, anger, pain, forgiveness. I don’t take any of it for granted. You’ve changed my existence which mean you’ve helped me live my life. Let us let nothing interrupt this beautiful thing of ours.
Let us let nothing interrupt this beautiful thing of ours.
Thank you mom I know you had other options. I know you had dreams that had to be put on hold in order for me to sleep at night.
Thank you Ohio/Philly. You taught me life can be a fairy tale even if there isn’t always a happy ending. I wouldn’t want to be from anywhere else. I don’t think this big adventure would be happening this way if I had not had every experience I did.
Thank you Reno. When I came here I didn’t know one person. Just my mother and my sister for two days then I was alone. Now I can walk in any room and treat someone as if they are blood. I can go to any state in this country and some countries abroad and call someone brother or friend. These people helped mold me into a man that I am proud of when I walk past a mirror.
I don’t care if we touched each other’s heart, touched each others soul, or just walked by one another on the street. It all had a purpose in getting me this far. I’m not perfect, I’m just trying to be a decent human. Just using words as flowers before I reach my grave in the physical. So here a flower to all of you. I got a smile on my face as I close this one out. So everyone just do what they do best and live. Hope you love your life as much as I love the energy you bring to mine. Prospèr