I said I love you.
From there everything broke down
There was no going back
There was no going forward
Build or destroy
Empires have been built on less
Revolutions have started over fewer words
Theories of the blueprint
We became architecture.
As of late, do I cross your mind?
When you think about the summertime.
When you think about them Fall mornings or those Winter nights.
What about those Spring afternoons that were full of delight.
I got a million reasons to love you every season.
Lately my friend.
I’ve been saying “I love you” into thin air with the hopes that you breathe it in.
I’ve been saying “I miss you” to the breeze, hoping you catch it like a second wind.
I’ve been wishing your side of the bed good night, praying that you lay here again.
I don’t even know who I’m praying to but waking up before the sun rise and telling the sky good morning is just not the same as you.
I’m just laying up late at night looking for shooting stars in the sky so I can wish that we both are ready at the same time. But I understand, you was always late when we had a dinner date. So how can I expect you to be on time when it comes to fate.
I know it’s suppose to be you because I asked the universe what should my heart say?
And every song I seemed to play just answered your name.
And I ain’t never felt this way, so I can’t tell you how to feel this way.
See I ain’t never loved this way, so I don’t know how to make this love go away.
I’m trying to be your favorite person after long days. I’m trying to have you in my arms for extended stays.
See lately my friend.
I’ve been thinking about you lately, my friend.
But it’s only when the the sun is in the sky or the moon is on the rise. When I’m happy or sad. When it’s good or bad. Thoughts of you come first and last.
But I know you’re a beautiful astronaut, you just need your space.
Eveytime you take a deep breathe just know into that breeze I said “I miss you” into the air I said “I love you”
You do your thing
I’ll do mine
Maybe we’ll meet somewhere down this complicated line
Maybe when you’re a little older
Maybe when I’m a little different
I don’t put my faith in maybes
I wish you were a cloud.
So beautiful as they do nothing I could lay for hours and appreciate
Both science and art they transform so gracefully into whatever my imagination need them to be
Whatever the season no matter the company they remain steady.
On the days when they plaster a multi colored sky with a sunset that will take your breath away
If they are grey and it seem they are crying for reasons that shouldn’t be they still cleanse everything around them
When a rainbow goes through them they just fortify it with silver lining
I wish I was a cloud
Clouds don’t care who stare
Things We Found In The Fire 9.10.15
Some things aren’t meant to be saved
some things are meant to burn.
What we lost in the fire is everything we don’t deserve.
From the smoke and the ashes come 9/11 theories and reminders of the Phoenix from the ones we chose to bury. Demons are our love life. So a Devil in a new dress is what we choose to marry. I want your poison, I seek it out.
Give me your sins and I’ll look upon them with affection.
I’m desperate for your dark soul.
It’s quite eerie how you give my perfect eyesight blurry vision. My hindsight is an explosion.
Bring me your pain and flaws like my hands all over your body is surgery. Operation tables built from the materials of Aesop’s fables.
Be my hell when I’m looking for a flame.
Turth or Drink 8.17.15
In a dark room sitting alone is truth.
He has been there for awhile now.
All alone by himself waiting to have a conversation.
It’s not that he is hiding, it’s just no one is looking for him.
Truth is sobering and everyone prefers to drink.
He honestly thinks everyone forgot about him.
Find your truth.
H.E.R. Fear of Commitment 8.16.15
She knew he would drop for women who always lived like it was fall, but smelled like it was summer when the leaves did their autumn dance.
She knew his love would travel like sentimental road trips and plane rides provided by frequent flyer miles.
But she was never a fan of horror films and to her this had the potential of being a scary movie. Because happily ever after just an optimist way of saying until death do us part.
Forever is a death wish
And you have a fully loaded clip of shooting stars but when it comes to target practice it seems to be the aim is always your heart.
She transitioned to you…
You were meant to survive.
You thrive in the dark.
Your thoughts come two at a time like the concept of your mind was based on Noah’s Arc. But when that rain comes. When it starts to pour. It either washes away all the pain or you drown in those sorrows.
Cause outside of passion, all time is really borrowed.
But I hope you realize the difference between chance and fate before it falls down and destiny deems you late. Because peaceful or not it’s all a war and no matter the sword or the gun we know what happens to those who hesitate.
Early death belongs to those who wait.
“Do whatever comes natural”
And I wanted to reply
“Everything that involves you”
Instead I just gave a glance held her tight then replied “okay”
From that point our night turned into a conversation about all our anythings and theories of infinite possibilities
In the back of our minds we both knew there was somewhere else we were supposed to be
Why be there?
When we can create perfection here.
There’s no price tag in this life on things that are worth it.
Mid Summers Eve we had vices like apples falling from forbidden trees.
A lust for it all.
And you tell me all your fears and I just tell you how stupid they are. You could have the stars if you constantly didn’t think the sky was so far. You put yourself in a box that’s encaged in a jar. And I know the cuts from your failures run as deep as rainy rivers but I swear I love your scars.
Right now you have an appointment with all the people that doubt you and I have a reservation with all the whisperers that say they care.
Why be there?
When we can create perfection here.
There’s no price tag in this world for the things that are worth it.
You always compare yourself to peers
I just had to realize that’s the fruit of your nature.
And I think different than any man you’ve ever encountered
You just had to realize that’s the beast of my nature
Fruit of the beast.
Sacrifice nothing for their comfort.
Let us sin in peace.
We’re just two monsters that love to feast.
They taught me about Picasso’s and Mona Lisa’s but they never mentioned your soul.
On the days when you’re most confident I want to take that feeling and hang it on a wall for you. I appreciate humans that could be a masterpiece. And when I encounter art, I never want to leave.
It’s insane how for our own sanity we have to abandon crucial things.
One day we might have to be there.
Just promise me you’ll remember all the perfection we created here.
Always picture this.
There’s no price tag in this life on things that are truly worth it.
To Kill A Caged Bird 7.16.15
Where I’m from they force the caged birds to not sing.
For the fear that their songs might turn to screams. They take beauty away from queens. Not saying it’s fair, it’s real.
No peace keepers.
Just tortured minds equipped with weapons that cause mothers to have nightmares.
You either shoot back or you run.
If you duck it becomes hunting season. This is a war no one is safe from. Products of these environments always come with expiration dates. Shelf life isn’t long for those who are killed by those who are suppose to protect or set aside from those with the power to care. But hope is never gone from those who have known rivers old as the history of man.
Sometimes I free caged birds just to see if they can still sing.
Late night layover thoughts 7.15.15
I hate sleeping alone, but even more so I hate laying with someone who means nothing to me. It’s such a simple mantra that involves so many complexities.
It’s a maze that you can always see the end but is forever ongoing.
I know how I want to feel and most days I know who I want to feel that way for.
The hardest part is getting there.
We all have a destination.
But none of us fly first class.
There are layovers.
There are detours.
Skies less traveled.
I don’t want to be apart of the generation where forever doesn’t mean forever anymore.
I want to lead the revolution that has the potential to fulfill prophecies and remembers that things are sacred.
But these thoughts only come when I’m sleeping alone.
I want to constantly fall in love with you.
But you go out of your way to make it hard.
Contemplating if it’s on purpose.
Everytime you fall apart.
Close things can hurt you.
So you rather just be admired from afar.
You’re the girl in the bar who takes shots like an assassin. And uses chaser like its blood on the leaves.
No victims, you just like to conquer things.
You’re a queen, and everybody knows it.
I’m more so into universal things, so to me your electricity.
I want to feel it.
Can I touch you there?
That place where your energy goes.
Most people build walls to keep those with emotions out.
You chose to be on top of a mountain with the topography that’s hard to comprehend.
You buy plane tickets to far off lands.
Hoping no one will search for you because we all got baggage but you just want your heart to carry on so you never have to check the weight of your luggage again.
Them metaphors hit real life.
Loving you is like riding a bike.
You deserve to be admired like the moon and the stars.
Yet you prefer city lights.
Never felt free except on those rare occasion when you opened it all for me.
So free it almost felt like you were tamed.
But you can’t accept anything but the jungle because at least in the wild you only have yourself to blame.
It’s getting late here. I have to leave now.
No rush. Life tells us when to calm down.
The time in my internal thoughts work like an eternal clock that no one other than me would get how it ticks or tocks
It may be awhiLe but fOr you to moVe frEe this is what mY destination has tO be. So pUre
You may not see me but I’m always there.
I’ve got shots to take
I’ve got mountains to climb
I’ve got planes to catch
I’ve got city lights to see
I’ve got bags to check
I’ve got jungles to explore
It’s getting late in my mind.
Idk Just early morning words.
It’s either hello or goodbye between us
You never let it fall in between.
The concept of forever is our mentality.
I put my upmost energy in things that won’t fade.
So I hope you never start seeming distant to me.
The irony of life is all cardio.
No matter how much you run after somebody you’ll never catch them if they decide to walk away.
It’s all conditional.
Guess this is a story that will serve as a lesson in another life.
This is a poem I’ll have to recite on another day.
I think we could be stars.
I look up at the night sky and see everything we are.
I envision tomorrow and see everything we could be.
I never was one to predict the future so who knows when my I will become a We.
I just know I see things.
I see names changing.
I see souls traveling.
I see art being made.
I see bodies intertwined.
I see late nights.
I see early mornings.
I see pretending everyday is Sunday and never leaving bed.
I see flaws.
I see emotion.
I see views.
Tell me what you are, then tell me who you want to be.
Because when the night comes and things get dark I don’t want to lay with strangers
When we were at our best it was electric When we were at our worst it was blackout.
Now that’s reference only few would understand. We were royalty not native to this land. When it was our world, our happiness was as foreign to them as inspiration to the person that’s seen everything
Grounded as ever but I swear you were my wings.
Your smile is the reason I paid attention the little things.
Before I didn’t get the dynamic of we.
Now I understand like arithmetic that couldn’t be thought of by beings of this planet.
Equations that couldn’t be comprehended by the imagination of any man.
Everytime I say I love you we turn to aliens.
Yet we have a dilemma that brings us down like gravity.
It could all be a once upon time but we get caught up in all these human things.
It could all be a dream, but how often do you stay up thinking of me.
When I see you its not just beauty, its art.
When you look at me do you see a canvas?
There was times I saw fire in your eyes that crept from your soul and I’m trying to provide spark. But you never needed me to keep that beauty alive. That’s why I think you’re special. If you can’t tell from my eyes, I’ll just say it everyday.
I want to tell the universe that your mine, so the stars never question my heart
Cause I’ll give answers that would be so honest and transparent black holes would reject them
But first lights please.
I want to know more about you.
Because when the night comes and things get dark.
I don’t want to lay with strangers.
Fine wine and Amazing women you have to give them room to breathe.
You want to drink from the bottle.
You want to devour her rapidly because her essence is divine.
But you must taste from the glass.
You must sip from her soul as if she is nectar from above never meant to touch the lips of mortals.
Sophistication from the grapevine dwells from the top of the cork to the last drip of the bottle.
The fountain of youth flows from the beginning of her mind to the end that is the soles of her feet.
Swallow them graciously
Breath them in deeply
You have to be patient with the grapes
You have to stay thirsty for all that she is
Appreciate whole heartedly
Fine wine and Amazing women were meant to quench the thirst of gods
You’re just a mortal connoisseur.
I want to swim in you.
I want dive into the beat of your heart like waves and I want your tears to hit me like a tsunami.
She once saw it all clear as ocean skies
I know you can’t sing but I want your body to put me to sleep and your voice to be my alarm clock.
I know you can’t sing but everyday could you sing me Odesza “Say My Name” like its our wedding vows?
I promise from now on that’s all I’ll ask of you, try to hit notes until your voice cracks so I know it’s true.
Sometimes we say I love you to ghost. It doesn’t make the love any less real.
Don’t be selfish
Don’t be envious
Don’t be ashamed
Don’t be silent
Don’t be movie screens
Don’t be magazines
Don’t be fashion
Don’t be runways
Don’t be everything I want
Don’t be everything I need
Don’t be everything I…
Don’t be diets
Don’t be sickness
Don’t be another her
Don’t be another she
Don’t be another…
Don’t be weak
Don’t be inferior
Don’t be entitled
Don’t be undervalued
Don’t be make up
Don’t be surgery